Adventures of…

EPIC FAIL??? Not Really… but my cooking was….. haaay! im never gonna try a flan ever!!

here’s the story…

Dec 24, I was tried to make a Leche Flan for my mom as a christmas present, unfortunately i failed… waaaaah!!!

here’s the recipe and procedures i got from the web (Im such a geek lols!)

1/2 cup sugar  , divided
1 tbsp water
3 eggs
1/4 cup frozen orange juice concentrate , thawed
12 floz Milk, evaporated, nonfat/skim
1/2 cup fat free milk
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/8 tsp almond extract

Procedure:

1 Preheat oven to 300 degrees F.
2 In a heavy, small saucepan, mix 1/4 cup sugar with the water. Cook over medium-low heat until the sugar dissolves, stirring frequently.
3 Increase the heat, and boil without stirring until the sugar turns deep golden brown, swirling the pan occasionally.
4 Immediately pour the caramel into six 6-ounce custard cups.
5 Carefully tilt the cups slightly, covering as much of the bottom (but not the sides) as possible.
6 Set the cups aside.
7 In a large bowl, whisk the eggs, orange juice concentrate, and remaining 1/4 cup sugar.
8 Gradually whisk in both the milks and the extracts.
9 Divide the custard among the prepared cups.
10 Place the cups in a large baking pan. Add enough hot water to the pan to come halfway up the sides of the cups.
11 Bake in preheated oven until the custards are set, about 80 minutes.
12 Remove the cups from the water.
13 Cover and refrigerate overnight.
14 When ready to serve, run a small, sharp knife around the custard sides to loosen.
15 Invert a custard onto each dessert plate, or eat from the cup. Makes 6 Servings.

there… that’s the original recipe, but I made some adjustments, like instead of sugar i used splenda (some anti-diabetic sugar), and I doubled the measurements so that I could make my flan bigger (YUM!) , that’s what i thought… i don’t know what went wrong, I followed the instructions, except for the recipe like what does this mean? (12 floz Milk, evaporated, nonfat/skim)

yes i know fluid ounce, and 12 floz is equivalent to 1.5 cups, but my problem was the milk, evaporated, nonfat/skim part, should it be three parts? like 4 floz of milk + 4 floz of evaporated milk + 4 floz of nonfat/skim milk = 12 floz (that’s what i did) or should it be a choice between the three milks?  anyway… maybe because of this confusion made my flan looked like a white sponge. anyone please comment… what happened? (wait a sec?!? is this even a flan?!? it says custard in it… WTF?!?!? anyway if you want to see the webpage, here’s the link http://www.dlife.com/dLife/diabetic-recipes/668/Orange-Caramel-Flan.html

Enjoy!

i mean the taste was good, it has an orang-like kick to it… but the problem was it looked like a frogs eggs… devastated… I didn’t even had the courage to serve the thing, imma try to make another sometime next month and maybe a smaller version of it…

and i got to take note that I’d do the original Leche Flan first before trying my own version of it… and that’s about it, i hope you had fun

Dec 1 2008 Monday

eeeeeee! i cooked for my mom!!! it was her birthday Nov 30… but i didn’t have time to prepare, because it was also my cousins wedding, so i cooked for my mom a day after. woke up 5 am, went to the market (palenke) , grabbed everything that i needed, i need to post it here in case i lose or forget what i did. here’s the procedure and recipe, try it and let me know what you think
Daggero’s Gambas Al Ajillo™ (how dare you patent that recipe!?!?)
because it’s a combination of two recipe’s shuffled, reduced and combined into one, which makes it ALL MINE!! BIATCH!!!) LMAO!

Ingredients:
½ cup - Olive Oil
4 - 6 Cloves of Chopped Garlic
1 tsp Red Pepper Flakes
1-2 tsp - Paprika (1 or 2, depends on your taste)
3 tbsp - White Wine (otional)
1 - Lemon (Half to squeeze and the other to decorate)
pinch of salt and pepper (also optional, but i prefer none)
16 to 20 pcs of shrimp (Sugpo for about a kilo… i think)
Parsley

Procedure:
Clean and butterfly the Shrimp - ewww raw (check if there’s still heartbeat… really i did, poor thing!) first remove the head (be careful not to remove its brains and stuff)
then at the back of the shrimp slice half way deep from its head to its tail. (not really half… about half) then you’ll see a vein just tug and pull, OK 1 down 19 more shrimps to go! LMAO!

Low heat, Heat pan, put olive oil, throw in the chopped garlic no need to brown the garlic, just until the garlic taste sets in the olive oil, then put the shrimps.
wait for the shrimps to get pink or orange… red? color blind? , just until it colors (about a minute or two), if the shrimp gets pink, use tongs to grab it and put it into a strainer, let it drip there for a while…
then grab the pepper flakes, white wine, paprika, half of lemon (squeeze it), and some parsley, throw it in pan and stir for a minute, throw those shrimps back in the pan and  turn off the heat or remove from flame, then stir.

Serving and Decoration (suggestions)
grab a plate, put in the gambas (try to elavate or make a mountain of shrimp, then pour all the juices in from the pan, grate the skin of the lemon to have a zest (just a little for color) slice the lemon about 3-4 slices anyway you like it,
then sprinkle some parsley.

Tips:
1. don’t overcook the shrimp, overcook means the shrimp will dry up and harden keep that two minute color cooking. (that’s why i strained the shrimp after coloring it)

2. instead of using salt use herbs, like parsley. parsley is a good substitute for salt.

there you go! enjoy!

continuing with my blog, my mom and my brother was happy, even if the doctor said they’re not allowed to eat that much, they ate a lot! i only ate four pieces of shrimp! LMAO, sad thing though i forgot to take a picture before we ate it (sorry)

First I’d like to thank Jay and Chezka, for that wonderful wedding Invitation!
I hope all your hard work payed off, I enjoyed the ceremony, the food was great
and the people, a lot of familiar faces like… Anna Miren can’t remember how to spell it though and the other guy, Im not sure if he’s ked-ked because he’s all grown up, and he looks like Juancho and Wency Cornejo LOLS

I remember seeing him before crying in our garage… scared the hell out of me and i ran
inside the house instead of helping, i screamed “MANAAANG!!!” (i thought it was a ghost). And the little chubby kid costumed as a baby cow on Enzo’s birth day, VERY CUTE!!!
and ate ANGIE!!! she looks like Lea Salonga!! eeee! and Dominic (Dominique?) damn i gotta learn how to spell names…

Dominic looks like one of the members of Jabbawockeez, Ate Lia Looks hot in her dress, Enzo looks like a Mafia’s kid with a chubby and cute side kick
Jay was looking handsome and cool, nice coat looks reeeaaaly expensive, and chez was very very pretty and cute as usual, the wedding veil was soooo long the helpers had a hard time on the stairs and turns everyone was running to fix it, plus the tears…

The moment i saw chez’s in tears like she’s about to burst and cry… I mean I was really trying to stop the tears from my eyes thinking that i’d look stupid or something but when James turned and looked at me and said “Galing no?” then i noticed his eyes already red and wet from tears, i just couldn’t help it anymore… “beautiful” i said to myself. then chez’s mom and brother cried… and i looked at everyone in the room wiping their eyes off, i said to myself “ENOUGH!” I can’t stop crying when i see everyone in tears… It’s like the wedding is not about the ceremony anymore

The wedding HAS to be felt, you really have to FEEL the room, its like everyone in the room was consumed by this unexplainable warmth, purity, love… all the cheesy words in the world combined. Like there’s a presence of a force, or a greater power with us, something I’ve felt long time ago.  Then i looked at jay then i saw a sudden gush of memories, every detail i remember of him… all the jay jay boy i knew, all the time I’ve been with him playing games, me getting caught playing doom on his computer, hanging out with him in his room listening to his cd’s, playing guitar in the Tower (Torre) playing Starcraft, his addiction with explosives… (fire crackers pala), warcraft, him on the field flying his chopper (helicopter), watching him assemble an RC… all his facial expressions, looooong and loud burps, his laughter, and his smile that has a mother’s warmth. all that memories in a minute.

Made me think… is this it? he’ll change for sure… Its like a part of him already left me, and and i know I’m gonna miss it, but then I said to myself that’s someone I’d want to be, not exactly but at least for a little. Everyone was beautiful and handsome that night and I’m the only guy who didn’t have the time to even get my hair cut, i was wearing my farooq hairdo LOLS (if you watch oldschool wrestling you’d know farooq), chez’s family was awesome, everyone can sing!

Everyone that held the microphone that night had powerful lungs, especially her mom, the video’s were awesome, the wedding video was fast, that was really fast, edited with great visual and great story telling. Awesome night everyone was dancing, Lyn was also excellent with her moves, and props to my brother he looks handsome in his suit, although he’s trying to hide his pain, but i can see from his face, his sweat, he really tried not to limp while walking in the isle and whole party but i know he’s in pain, it’s just great everything was great, I ended up lying in my bed thinking when will it be my time…

NAAAHHH it’ll come (my femininity just oozed out for a while there LMAO)
but for now…

I define Love as Jay and Chezka.

I can’t wait to see the pictures! eeeee!

Because of my Fascination on werewolves… and i want to be one
i made a collection of images, info’s and how to become one hahaha (as if I’d do them) Here’s How I Love Werewolves

I Love to be one

Classic but Awesome Transformation… ugly creature though… i’d prefer Van Helsings or Underworld’s Lycan transformation all in all I LOVE IT!!!

Here’s How to Become one (message me if it works LOLS)

Instructions
Difficulty: Easy (LMAO)
Step1 - Sleep on the ground in an open field on a Friday night when the moon is full. Many Europeans who lived several centuries ago approved of this method.
Step2 - Drink water from a wolf’s footprint. Two hundred years ago, Balkan natives thought this act would surely help you grow hair and fangs.
Step3 - Satisfy your thirst in certain magical bodies of water, although the whereabouts of these are unknown. If you find that discouraging, drink wherever wolf packs drink.
Step4 - Transform yourself by eating a wolf’s brains. Just follow the easy instructions listed in the Wicked Witch’s Cookbook (author unknown).
Step5 - Find a French priest and have him put a hex on you. Many incorrigibles were purportedly disciplined in this way in the centuries prior to the 1800s.

The following multistep method was once considered foolproof by many believers. Please, do not try this at home.

Step1 - Go on top of a hill where the full moon can shine upon you. Then at midnight, draw two circles on the ground: one 3 feet in diameter, surrounded by the second, which should be 7 feet in diameter.
Step2 - Build a fire in the middle of the two circles and place a cauldron over it.
Step3 - Add henbane, opium, hemlock, aconite, poplar leaves, soot and cooking oil to this steaming concoction.
Step4 - If one or more of those magical ingredients can’t be found at the grocery store, try mixing cowbane, sweet flag, cinquefoil, bat’s blood and belladonna into the quagmire. Say a number of enigmatic incantations as the recipe boils.
Step5 - Be creative, reciting things like, “Spirits of earthbound dead that glide with noiseless tread, be kind to me.”
Step6 - Remove your clothes and smear yourself from head to toe with the magic ointment. Make sure it’s cooled.
Step7 - Drape a wolf skin over your body, or maybe a wolf skin belt, three fingers wide. Kneel in the moonlight and come up with some more chants. Strike the ground with your head three times - and watch out for them silver bullets!

i love this one, this has a better transformation… faster and less painful, plus turning into human is the same way (you rip your wolf skin and underneath is your human form) Cool isn’t it?

this is also a cool way to transform… morph quickly, not like ripping and making a mess… (i’d prefer not to clean after i shed LOLS) but shedding is my favorite
and here’s Some List of Movies that you should Check out
1. An American Werewolf in London (1981)
2. The Howling (1981)
3. Ginger Snaps (2000)
4. Dog Soldiers (2002)
5. Wolfen (1981)

eeeeeee! here’s a cute Werewolf!!!

I’d Hug this little guy if it chased me
What about a female Werewolf?
i prefer this one

LOLS not this one… Not Even Scary haha (but sexy)

anyway, I hope you guys had Fun still bored though… but I killed a lot of time

Bye!

Harmony-seeking Idealists are characterised by a complex personality and an abundance of thoughts and feelings. They are warm-hearted persons by nature. They are sympathetic and understanding. Harmony-seeking Idealists expect a lot of themselves and of others. They have a strong understanding of human nature and are often very good judges of character. But they are mostly reserved and confide their thoughts and feelings to very few people they trust. They are deeply hurt by rejection or criticism. Harmony-seeking Idealists find conflict situations unpleasant and prefer harmonious relationships. However, if reaching a certain target is very important to them they can assert themselves with a doggedness bordering on obstinacy.

Harmony-seeking Idealists have a lively fantasy, often an almost clairvoyant intuition and are often very creative. Once they have tackled a project, they do everything in their power to achieve their goals. In everyday life, they often prove to be excellent problem solvers. They like to get to the root of things and have a natural curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. At the same time, they are practically oriented, well organised and in a position to tackle complex situations in a structured and carefully considered manner. When they concentrate on something, they do so one hundred percent - they often become so immersed in a task that they forget everything else around them. That is the secret of their often very large professional success.

As partners, harmony-seeking idealists are loyal and reliable; a permanent relationship is very important to them. They seldom fall in love head over heels nor do they like quick affairs. They sometimes find it very difficult to clearly show their affection although their feelings are deep and sincere. In as far as their circle of friends is concerned, their motto is: less is more! As far as new contacts are concerned, they are approachable to only a limited extent; they prefer to put their energy into just a few, close friendships. Their demands on friends and partners are very high. As they do not like conflicts, they hesitate for some time before raising unsatisfactory issues and, when they do, they make every effort not to hurt anyone as a result.

Here’s the link
http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html

is there a bad personality test? i hope there’s one

just research… im just trying to look for some answers…

Psychological repression, or simply repression

is the psychological act of excluding desires and impulses (wishes, fantasies or feelings) from one’s consciousness and holding or subduing them in the unconscious. Since the popularization of Sigmund Freud’s work in psychoanalysis, repression is now accepted as a common defense mechanism in everyday life.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_repression

Repressed memory

Repressed memory is a theoretical concept used to describe a significant memory, usually of a traumatic nature, that has become unavailable for recall; also called motivated forgetting in which a subject blocks out painful or traumatic times in one’s life. This is not the same as amnesia, which is a term for any instance in which memories are either not stored in the first place (such as with traumatic head injuries when short term memory does not transfer to long term memory) or forgotten.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repressed_memory

Stages

In the Primary Repression phase, an infant learns that some aspects of reality are pleasant, and others are unpleasant; that some are controllable, and others not. In order to define the “self”, the infant must repress the natural assumption that all things are equal. Primary Repression then is the process of determining what is self, what is other; what is good, and what is bad. At the end of this phase, the child can now distinguish between desires, fears, self, and others.

Secondary Repression begins once the child realizes that acting on some desires may bring anxiety. This anxiety leads to repression of the desire. The threat of punishment related to this form of anxiety, when internalized becomes the “superego”, which intercedes against the desires of the “ego” without the need for any identifiable external threat.

Abnormal repression, or complex neurotic behavior involving repression and the superego, occurs when repression develops and/or continues to develop, due to the internalized feelings of anxiety, in ways leading to behavior that is illogical, self-destructive, or anti-social.

A psychotherapist may try to reduce this behavior by revealing and re-introducing the repressed aspects of the patient’s mental process to his conscious awareness, and then teaching the patient how to reduce any anxieties felt in relation to these feelings and impulses.

Schizotypal personality disorder, or simply schizotypal disorder, is a personality disorder that is characterized by a need for social isolation, odd behavior and thinking, and often unconventional beliefs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_personality_disorder

…
i have to read more…

Oo ninakaw ko lang to, pero ito rin ang nagpatawa sakin habang nag babawas ako sa banyo  - Daggero

• “…madaming teacher sa labas ng eskwelahan. desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo.”
• “…mas marami pa s’yang alam kesa sa nakasulat sa Transcript of Records n’ya, mas marami pa s’yang kayang gawin kesa sa nakalista sa resume n’ya, at mas mataas ang halaga n’ya kesa sa presyong nakasulat sa payslip n’ya tuwing sweldo.”
• “ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko”
• “bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali, alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?”
• “dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung ‘di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit.sobrang luri. kung alam lang ‘yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela.”
• “hikayAtin m0 LahAt ng kakilala m0 na mAgkaro0n kahit isA man lang paboritong libro sa bu0ng buhay nilA..dahil walA ng mas nakakaawa pa sa mga ta0ng literado per0 hindi nagbabAsa”
• “Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa.”
• “hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?”
• “hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan.
  hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka.”
• “iba ang informal gramar sa mali!!!”
• “iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala”
  “Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan.
  In English, FACT you, pare. Totoo ka. In English, FACT you!”
• “Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan.”
• “kung kabayo gagawa ng libro mahirap maging palaging politically correct para sa mga damo”
• “Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”
• “kung paniniwalaan namin kayo na hindi naglaro ng tubig kahit na basa ang damit n’yo, kayo ang niloloko namin; hindi kayo ang nakapanloloko.”
• “Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!).”
• “mag-aral maigi; kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka sa pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher.”
• “Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili.”
• “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.”
• “Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko.”
• Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos ang oras.
• “nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures.”
• “Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba’t-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan…”
• “Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto, responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko.”
• “Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera?Kung kailangan sa buhay un, dapat matagal na kong patay.”
• “Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan.
  Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa’yo – ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana ang utak ng tao.”
• “Titingnan mo ba ang basong kalahating bawas o kalahating puno?”
• “Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa’yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?”
• “Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka.”

Part 2 na toooh!!! Woot!!!

Baliwag (totoong Baliwag Na!!!)

Pag baba ko ng bus, WAW, ang ganda, ang kalat, ang ganda ng kalat, parang nag piesta tapos hindi niligpit, nag dagsaan ang mga tao
sagad ang dami nila… feeling ko tuloy ako ang inaabangan nila, para akong santo papa na kaba-baba lang ng eroplano, o sige na artista na ako,
tuloy dedma lahat sila sakin, pag lumingon ako tagos sa kanila yung tingin ko…
natisod ako… konti lang, kung may maka-kita man, di ito halata kse um-acting ako na antok na antok ako, grabe ang mga tao kung sa baguio,
ito ang session road nila, madali kme ng pinsan ko sumakay ng trike (artista pala ha), ang ga-ganda ng mga trike dito, paramihan sila ng borloloy, di katulad dito sa BF, wala silang ibang motto kundi "Trike for Life"
punyeta ok lang sa inyo habang buhay kayo ganyan? ayaw niyo ba mag upgrade sa jeep, or taxi? at kumikita ba kayo sa mga stickers na naka dikit jan? "lose weight? gain muscles?" hanep pano ka maniniwala sa ganun
e ke-baduy ng stickers nila, EWWWW, anyway balik tayo sa baliwag puro neon colors ang naka dikit sa mga trike nila, kung ano ang dekorasyon ng mga elepante sa india ganun din ang mga trike dito…
ayoko pa sana sumakay, kse na-imagine kong tumingala at umikot na parang trumpo habang naka-angat ang dalawa kong kamay, parang yung mga nasa palabas, minsan kumakanta, minsan galit na sumisigaw.
ako feel kong umikot… miski na alam kong kaka-galing ko lang sa opisina, at antok na antok na ako.
pero hinde, wala nang panahon… naalala ko na-tatae pala ako, bat kse kumain pa ako sa opisina e, hindi kse ako maka gebs dun dahil 1. iba ang kamandag ng gebs ko, bka di ito makayanan ng mga ka-opisina ko
2. may multo sa ibang floors, di na uy… titiisin ko nalang to. conting concentration lang to at muscle control.
kaya sumakay narin ako ng trike, habang tinitiis ko ang sakit ng pagkaka-upo ko, (di ko alam kung ako ba ang malaki, o maliit ang trike?!?… Aminin!!)
tinitignan ko ang mga tanawin, sus 4 o 5 na likuan lang andun na kami sa bahay ng tita ko. ni wala akong natanaw.

Ang Bahay ni Auntie Piching:

pag baba-palang kme ng trike sinalubong kaagad kme ng "andito na silaaa!!"
bumati ako sa tita Piching ko, di ko alam kung bakit "Piching", pero kse tawag niya sa mama ko "Pecot" e, ewan ko ba sa magkapatid na yun, di pa ako nakaka-pasok ng pinto naka-tanggap na ako kaagad ng house rule, bawal ipasok ang tsinelas at sapatos sa loob ng bahay
sagot naman ako ng opo, hinubad ko sapatos ko at naglakad ng pinapadulas ang paa ko sa sahig, ayaw ko kse mapansin nila na butas ang ilalim ng medyas ko, di naman kse ako nagtatanggal ng sapatos sa office e kaya ok lang mag suot ng bulok na medyas, oo na sige na eto pa isang revelation
kaya ako natutulog sa pantry ng naka sapatos bwahahahaha =) di ko naisip na magkaka-ganito… parang dati sa isang japanese restaurant… pero ibang kwento na yun.

derecho kme sa hapag kainan, nakita ko si joyce, kumakain, inalok kme kumain, tatanggi sana ako kaya lang, ang sarap ng pagka-ka hain ng mesa e
longganisa (Bawang), at isa pang klaseng longganisa na Matamis… tinimplahan pa ako ng kape, paraiso ba to?!? sa kalagitnaan ng katakawan ko
naisip ko ermats ko, tawagan ko nga, mas paranoid pa sha kesa sakin e, habang hina-hanap ko ang number mama ko sa cell, umulan ng kantiyaw galing sa tita ko "sino tatawagan mo?!? girlfriend"
sa isip ko "Sana lang noh" pero nung narinig nila "ma, andito na kme", napa-ngiti nalang ako… ayoko na mag ilusion. ayun nagkwento lang ako sa nanay ko, at in-inggit ko lang sha sa longganisa
sabay hirit sakin ng nanay ko "maligo ka ha" , "oo naman" sagot ko sa nanay ko, isa kse ako sa mga bata na mahilig tumakbo nung bata, tumakbo pag oras na maligo, mama hindi na ako bata, kung dati hindi ako naliligo
ngayun 1 beses na sa isang araw, sabi niyo noon kelangan mag tipid diba? ang tipid kaya natin sa tubig ngayun, lalo na sa sabon, kalbo pa ako so exempted na ang shampoo, haahaha joke lang

tapos nun nag yosi na kme sa garahe, sabi sakin ng tita ko "sabihin niyo sakin kung maliligo na kayo ha, para ituturo ko kung saan ang banyo nyo at kung san kayo matutulog"
pag tapos ng ritual ng paninigarilyo pagkatapos kumain, nag balak ako maligo, binanggit ko na maliligo na ako, hinatid ako ng tita ko sa taas, itinuro niya sakin kung saan ang sabon, shampoo, at toothpaste.
itinuro rin niya kung saan ang higaan namin, may sarili kaming unan, twalya at kumot, hanep ok lang pala kung damit lang dala ko e, solb ka na sa mala-hotel accomodations dito, kulang nalang mag patong sha ng chocolate sa unan e…
di na ako naka-ligo, natulog nalang ako, mamaya na ako maliligo pagka-gising, ok lang yun binalak ko lang naman maligo e, di ko naman sinabi na maliligo na ako.

nagising ako ng mga 1:30, 3:00pm daw ang kasal, bumaba ako, at hanep, tanghalian na, kumain bago matulog at kumain nanaman ako pagka-gising
at ayan na sina ate carrie (pinsan ko rin) at Din (asawa ni ate Carrie), mga bagong gising tulad ko, kamustahan, usapang pagkain,
ganito kami mag pasahan ng impormasyon, kung may na-discover kang pagkain, masarap na kainan, at mga lugar na wag kakainan i-share mo.
2:00 na, di ko namalayan ang oras, naubos ang oras sa ka-ke-kwento, nangangati na ako, di pa ako naliligo simula kahapon… sinundo kse ako ng pinsan ko sa opisina
kaya ayun nag balak na ako maligo, eto na ang banyo, na-alala ko na ge-gebs pala ako, pag upo ko palang sa trono, hindi na kinilala ng pwet ko yun inidoro e
di ko man lamang sila narinig mag hi at hello, basta bulwak kagad ang gebs ng magaling niyong manunulat, bigla naman nagkantahan ang mga anghel sa langit ng
makapa ko ang pang-bukas ng bidet, at oo maliligo na talaga ako. sa wakas.

kumuha ako ng damit sa bag ko, tshirt, medjas at huh?!? anak ng… di ko alam kung sasabihin ko pa ito sa inyo pero… sige na nga!!!!
naiwan ko brief ko… Potaness, sa lahat ng maiiwan yun pa, sa kama-madali kong mag impake ng gamit, yun pa ang di ko inisip, pero ok lang yan! tanggapin nalang natin na hindi sa lahat ng oras panalo ka,
lalake ako, wala nang isip isip, side A ako kahapon, side B naman ngayun (kabaliktaran ng Side A), at Commando bukas (sabihin na natin Aircon sa loob ng shorts).
solb nanaman ang problema ko, pakiramdam ko isa ako sa mga commercial ng Mentos, naalala niyo yun?, anyway naka bihis na ako, bumaba ako na taas noo, parang normal at walang sikretong tinatago
para akong may putok na nakapag lagay ng rexona, o kaya naman meron ako pero buti nalang may whisper with wings, alam niyo yung feeling na yun? with confidence kumbaga

umuulan pa, baha sa labas ng bahay ng tita ko, 5 minutes palang umuulan baha na kagad? wala ba kayong dandy products?!? hahaha, Hi Dandy team =) kumbaga sa movies, may Cameo Appearance pa, di ko naman kasalanan kung dumadagdag fans ko noh! (naramdaman niyo yun? hangin ko yun!)
nakita ko pinsan ko naka bihis, shempre di maipag-ka-kaila maganda sha devah. mashado atang bihis to para sa isang civil wedding…
naka- tshirt lang ako at pantalon, pero shoot na yan cute naman ako e =) BWAAHAHAHHA

nagsi-sakayan na kme sa sasakyan at patungo na kme sa kasal,

End of Part 2: (pasensha na Trilogy kse to e, bleh)

Part 3
Ang Kasal
at ang Inuman After ng Kasal

My Baliwag Experince

Time: 6:00am
Date: July 11 2008
Destination : Baliwag Bulacan

"Comedy - it’s Everywhere"

ok first off, ngayun lang ako nag commute papuntang baliwag… usually
i go in my moms car tapos matutulog ako sa biyahe then pag gising ko
andun na ako. di naman ako malandi sa traveling, kahit ano ok lang
sakin kung kalabaw and sasakyan, bakit hinde?!? elementary palang ako
gustong gusto ko nang sumakay sa jeep, i love jeepneys… and ilove
watching people…
kaya lang wala akong sense of direction… kaya one time pumunta ako ng buendia, dami kong tinanungan na tao
tapos kung tatanungin mo ako ngayun kung marunong akong pumunta sa buendia sasabihin ko hinde, dahil
wala talaga akong alam… maiinis ka pa sakin kse kung mag tanong ako pati yung sasabihin ko sa konduktor tinatanong ko e.
tapos kada pittstop tinatanong ko malayo pa ser? ewan ko ba,
gustong-gusto ko mag liwaliw… gustong gusto ko mag travel…
natatakot lang ako kse bka di ako maka-balik… hassle

ok back to baliwag… kasama ko pinsan ko si patok pupuntahan namin
kapatid niya si joyce, ikakasal na kse… confident ako kse marunong
sha pumunta… and matututo ako (Hands On)
nag pahatid kme kasama ng aming driver na si kuya bobby papuntang
metropolis, kung saan ang sinehan ay hindi tinatablan ng mtrcb…

METROPOLIS BUS STATION:

daming bus… di ko alam kung saan sasakay, umaasa ako sa kasama ko.
ila-latag niya ang daan para sakin… habang naglalakad kami palingon
lingon ako sa mga bus… tinitignan ko ang mga designs nito… nakita
ko si piolo at ang kanyang clear shampoo… piolo… dati galit ako sa
kanya, gwapo niya kasi e… kainggit,
bitter lang talaga ako =) pero ngayun… maniwala kayo sa sasabihin ko,
90% ng mga lalaki sa pilipinas eto ang sinabi "bwahahahaha ina mo
kaaaaa" nung unang lumabas ang issue nila ni sam milby bwahahaha,
ngayun everytime na makita ko sha sa tv isa lang sinasabi ko sa loob ko
"gayness… there’s still balance in the universe"

anyway, in the middle of my mindless thoughts bigla kong narinig ang
pinsan ko "throw san tayo?" (throw = tropa, lasing vocabulary), nagulat
ako ,pero sabi ko lang "di ko alam throw e" nagtanong nalang sha sa mga
tao dun kung dadaan ba itong bus na to sa baliwag… um-oo yung lalaki,
sakay naman kme, sa isip ko naman "baliwag, kaagad… galing a…"

sakay ako ng bus after 20 minutes naisip ko "waw ang layo ko na sa
bahay…" habang sinasabayan ko ang lyrics sa radio… "i’m never gonna
dance again guilty feet have got no rythm…" ewan ko ba sa ka-baduyan
ng kantang yun napa kanta ako…
napapa-oo nalang kme ng pinsan ko e, naka-tulog ako, pero may naramdaman akong kumalabit sa kamay ko, yung konductor,
at narinig ko pinsan ko "baliwag, dalawa… magkano?" ang mahal 60++,
naisip ko di na ako matutulog, sayang kung di ko titignan ang mga
pangitain… tanawin pala…

ginising ako ulit… oo naka tulog nanaman ako, sabi sakin ng pinsan ko… andito na tayo… ako naman yes baliwag na…
pa baba ko ng bus… huh, parang siyudad… sabay nakita ko sa taas may
sign "Baliwag Transit" bwahahahhaa napa oo nalang ako e… sabi ko sa
sarili ko "kalma lang, wag mo na sabihin sa pinsan mo kung ano inakala
mo" napapa ngiti nalang ako, dahil di ako maka-tawa… pero tawang-tawa
ako sa sarili ko…

BALIWAG TRANSIT:

pag baba namin ng bus, lumingon pinsan ko sakin at sinabing "yosi break?" ngumiti ako sabay labas ng yosi at nag sindi
lag lakad kme konti papasok sa station, "ang daming bus… ang
laki-laki pa nila" biglang naka-kita ako ng kano kasama niya anak
niya… naka-tayo sila sa bus papuntang tuguegarao… di ko alam kung
san yun, pero malayo yun, dun lang ako sure.
di ako nagulat sa pangalawa kong nakita yung asawa ng kano… pinay…
sabihin na natin na ‘exotic’ ito, sagad. yung mga tipikal na filipina
na nag lalaba sa batis type…

"jounalism - walang pakielamanan, sulat ko to e"

di ko ma-gets ang taste nila… pero… whatever… pero sa isang
sandali nangarap nanaman ako… bigla akong napa-isip… "siguro kung
nasa america ako… sa ka-itiman kong ito, malamang pagkakaguluhan ako
dun… … … naaaah mukha mo! sabi ko sa sarili ko. sabay tawa
hahahahaha Baliw! pero talagang napaka-laking question mark sakin ang
trip nila… balance nanaman siguro ito ng universe…

naiwan na kme ng bus na dapat sasakyan namin… nag yosi pa kse kme e… pero ok lang yun, di naman kme nag mamadali e…
and gusto ko pa pumuna ng mga tao dito… sindi nanaman ako ng yosi…
habang palingon lingon sa paligid. nag aantay na may mangyari na
kaka-iba… habang naka tayo sa kina tatayuan ko… may tumabi sakin na
babae… co-traveler tulad ko, may dala din sha na bag, plastic… and
evretheng… nagulat lang ako kse pumagitna sha samin ng pinsan ko…
tingin ako sa kanya, sa annet niya, maliit kse e… sabay may mamang
lumapit at bumulong sa kanya "o pera mo o… ingatan mo" nung marinig
ko yun napa-tingin ako sa paanan ko, may 100… hindi lang… mukhang
may mga kaibigan na kasama yung 100… gusto kong daanin sa bilis at
tapakan ang pera para di niya makita… ngunit nag-sabay ang reaction
time namin… pinulot niya kaagad… napa-tingin ako sa pinsan ko, at
malamang makikita mo sa mukha ko na sayang na sayang ako… bitter
nanaman ako, napaka-biased talaga ng mga pinoy. bakit hindi ako
binulungan nung lalaki… bakit yung babae sa tabi ko?!? dahil ba babae
sha? o dahil mukha lang talaga akong goon… in-assume niya kaagad na
sa babae ang pera, di man lang niya tinanong kung kanino… e-pano pag
akin yun?!? diba?

anyway… anjan na yung bus… dali dali kming sumakay… papa-lapit
palang ako sa bus pa-lingon lingon na ako sa sahig… bka kse
maka-chamba nanaman ako ng cash e… and this time uunahan ko na sila
=) pag sakay sa bus… "waw ang ganda… sabi ko sa sarili" lamig
aircon… malayo daw kse yung biyahe kaya aircon nalang kme sabi ng
pinsan ko, habang nag aantay mapuno ang bus… may narinig ako "kaymasa
mani kayo jan, malutong, bagong luto masustansha" isang mama na may
kargang balde nag bebenta ng mani… inalok ako ng pinsan ko… sabi ko
"nope"… sa halagang 10 pesos, meron ka nang bagong lutong mani…
gusto kong tikman kaya lang, wag nalang… tinatamad ako e, galing ng pang salok niya… shot glass… katuwa naman =)

bumaba na si mamang mani, akala ko tapos na ang palabas, biglang
nakarinig nanaman ako ng di maintindihang ingay…
aaaabulgarabantebulletin kayo jan… punyeta di kita maintindihan pero
alam kong newspaper nag binebenta mo…
ang kulit nila, ina-abangan ko na kung ano ang sunod na papasok na
magla-lako, hindi pa nakaka labas si mamang newspaper, may nakita na
akong tao sa likod niya, C2 at mineral water… hahaha natuwa ako ok to
a… "tunay kaya yung c2?" sabi ko sa sarili ko… sa galing mangopya
ng mga pilipino hindi possibleng magkaroon ng pekeng C2… sa
pangatlong pumasok nagulat ako, di ko ine-expect na may ganito…
sumigaw sha ng "hamburger kayo jan" nan-laki ang mga mata ko,
napa-WHAAAAT ako…
burger?!? sa bus?!? Burger bwahahaha what’s next… hahaha what’s
next… pag may nag offer ng cellphone dito pota tatawa ako ng malakas
pramis…

derecho ang mga tindero papunta sa likod ng bus, wala akong ginawa
kundi bumungis-ngis habang tinatakpan ko ang mukha ko gamit ang bag ko,
hindi ko na napigilan ang tawa ko nung nasa may exit na sila bigla kong
narinig yung huling tindero humirit "dyaryo kayo?" kung may sipon ako
bumulwak na ang sipon ko sa ilong sa ka-pipigil ng tawa ko… hahaha
badiiiing yung nag titinda ng dyaryo hahahahahaha

haaaay sa wakas, aalis narin kme…

BUS (Sa Loob)

napansin ko naman yung konduktor… tinatanong niya kung "san kayo"
sabay mabilisang pag bubutas ng ticket, punit at abot sa pasahero.
sanay na sanay sha e, biglang natawa ako sa isang matandang babae…
nung tinanong sha nung konduktor kung saan sha pupunta sumagot sha
sabay labas ng I.D. Parang pulis, nag zoom in ako at natawa ako kse
"Senior Citizen Card" pala ang hawak niya… napa tanong sakin ang
pinsan ko, napansin niya kse nag va-vibrate ang upuan namin sa
kata-tawa ko, "bakit anong nakakatawa?" sabi ko kse yung matanda parang
pulis, pinakita niya yung senior citizen card niya sa konduktor…
natawa rin sha… iniisip ko naman may extra butas kaya yung ticket niya?!?…

nanahimik ako saglit… kalmado… naubusan ako ng tatawanan… biglang
yung katabi ko sa kabila ng isle tawagin natin shang kulot… kulot na
lalaki kse sha e…. bigla shang bumaging ng malakas…. hahaha natawa
ako… kse sabi ko sa sarili ko "SAAAAARS" hahahaha pano kaya kung
sumigaw ako ng malakas… SAAAARS! hahaha tapos tignan ko mga mukha at
reaction ng mga tao…

30 mins na wala na talaga akong magawa, wala akong ibang inisip kundi… pano kaya kung may nang hi-jack ng bus na to…
ano kaya gagawin ko… mag papaka- kungfu panda ba ako, o panda lang na
walang kungfu?!? ano kayang special moves ang gagawin ko?!? haduken?
meka-meka? yan ang natutunan ko sa libro ni bruce lee "the tao of jeet
kune do" meditation, imagining danger at all times… sleeping, eating,
taking baths… you’ll never know diba? pero kung sa kalagitnaan ng
hi-jack umutot kaya ako… matatawa kaya sila mister hi-jacker? "sino
umutot?" or baka sabihin niya sa kasama niya "umutot ka?"

anyway bored na talaga ako, wala akong ginawa kundi tignan si kulot…
nag tataka ako kung bakit tumataas ang kilay niya habang natutulog? ano
kaya panaginip niya… oo kse sha ng oo e, pinagmamasdan ko rin buhok
niya… kulot.
dumungaw ako, sa isle, may naka dungaw rin pero tulog… wala tulog na
silang lahat… sinilip ko naman si senior citizen lady sa harap ni
kulot… tulog din… haaay
nakita ko sa bintana "pan de malolos" huh" parang sa BF may pan de
manila… may "pan de ilocos" ba? e yung "pan de regla?!?" lugar ba yun
o isang tinapay na galing sa isang marumi o malikhaing pag iisip…

ginising ako ng pinsan ko… andito na tayo… di ko mapinta mukha ko
pero tumayo ako kaagad… at tinignan ang ganda ng baliwag… maraming
legs… tricycle drivers, at mga banderitas na naka sabit sa taas na
tila parang nag piesta nung nakaraang taon na hanggang ngayaon di pa
ito tinatanggal

End of Part 1

Part 2:
Baliwag (totoong baliwag na),
Bahay ng Tita ko
kasal ng pinsan/best friend ko.